Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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