Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
