I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
