i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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