dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
