I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
