I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
