I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
