Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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