hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
