i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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