how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
