did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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