3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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