erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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