do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
