I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
