i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
