Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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