im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
