Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
