watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
