I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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