Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
