so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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