Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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