Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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