Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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