omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
