Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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