I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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