Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
People with herpes should wear stickers.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
