My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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