I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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