Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize