I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
