I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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