whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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