Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  b/c u have herpes

  (310): View more from California

  No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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  (310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh
  Replies (19) Good night (1112) Bad night (5599)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Go to google and type XXX

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  .......Is that how you look for porn?

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  (304): Go to google and type XXX (1-304): .......Is that how you look for porn? http://tfl.nu/atks
  Replies (11) Good night (746) Bad night (1986)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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  (318): Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume. http://tfl.nu/rs73
  Replies (31) Good night (4662) Bad night (866)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.

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  (702): jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working. http://tfl.nu/9tde
  Replies (43) Good night (8017) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1269) Bad night (2978)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (4093) Bad night (1105)
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  (760): View more from California

  And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist

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  (760): And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist http://tfl.nu/o8qq
  Replies (7) Good night (2521) Bad night (614)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...

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  (316): Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call... http://tfl.nu/fydz
  Replies (16) Good night (2176) Bad night (732)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.

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  (480): I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level. http://tfl.nu/m64o
  Replies (5) Good night (2998) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now

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  (310): i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now http://tfl.nu/q54p
  Replies (17) Good night (596) Bad night (2280)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!

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  (937): The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable. (1-937): That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil! http://tfl.nu/f2da
  Replies (5) Good night (372) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.

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  (949): Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults. http://tfl.nu/b902
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.

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  (919): As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage. http://tfl.nu/44x8
  Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.

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  (763): There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying. http://tfl.nu/1hl2
  Replies (6) Good night (324) Bad night (765)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just want to make out with him forever

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  (203): I just want to make out with him forever http://tfl.nu/lf08
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (186)

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