Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
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Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.