Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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(606): Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier. http://tfl.nu/kkf1

Replies (16) Good night (2051) Bad night (673)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

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(630): I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about... http://tfl.nu/mp2d

Replies (7) Good night (702) Bad night (3000)
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(816): View more from Missouri

dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

(816): View more from Missouri

that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

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(816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0

Replies (35) Good night (12693) Bad night (1648)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes

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(832): either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes http://tfl.nu/ezez

Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (3739)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms

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(336): christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms http://tfl.nu/f1de

Replies (27) Good night (6024) Bad night (1186)
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(248): View more from Michigan

like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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(248): like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life. http://tfl.nu/wwre

Replies (3) Good night (3163) Bad night (1112)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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(440): Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table. http://tfl.nu/pm1l

Replies (3) Good night (2102) Bad night (1140)
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(818): View more from California

Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.

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(818): Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse. http://tfl.nu/0n19

Replies (18) Good night (3521) Bad night (1039)
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(419): View more from Ohio

WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.

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(419): WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME. http://tfl.nu/mbtp

Replies (11) Good night (1109) Bad night (1280)
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(970): View more from Colorado

there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.

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(970): there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night. http://tfl.nu/aogr

Replies (9) Good night (1620) Bad night (684)
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(585): View more from New York

Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.

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(585): Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship. http://tfl.nu/lc1v

Replies (5) Good night (1096) Bad night (445)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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(662): IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol. http://tfl.nu/ywt6

Replies (1) Good night (1104) Bad night (655)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I ate the most amazing corn dog today.

(517): View more from Michigan

I will probably dream about it.

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(517): I ate the most amazing corn dog today. (517): I will probably dream about it. http://tfl.nu/pmjz

Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (367)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.

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(614): I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low. http://tfl.nu/zc0w

Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (841)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.

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(317): I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before. http://tfl.nu/0l7m

Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (555)

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