Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
