its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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