then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
