u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
