I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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