wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
