I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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