I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
