i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
