I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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