Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize