Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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