in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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