If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
