I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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