I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
