So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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