The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize