I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
