I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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