so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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